


all my stones become your pearls

by spinningincircles



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Pre-Slash, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:02:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27962732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinningincircles/pseuds/spinningincircles
Summary: Eddie always insists that Buck is welcome and never intruding, even on days like today, when the quiet in his apartments is so loud it physically drives him out in search of warmth and comfort andthese two, prompting him to show up on the Diaz porch like a lost puppy and pray that they let him in.They always let him in. They alwayswilllet him in. But still. Buck knows he has to leave eventually.(or: Buck realizes that, sometimes, he gets to stay)
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 388





	all my stones become your pearls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [madamewriterofwrongs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamewriterofwrongs/gifts).



> for CJ, who sends me one (1) message and gets me all up in my feelings
> 
> title from "mine is yours" by cold war kids

Buck looks up from his phone with a smile when he hears the truck pull into the driveway. _Thank God_ , he thinks, joints popping as he stands and stretches, feeling slowly coming back into his legs after sitting cross-legged on the lawn for an hour. Eddie hops out of the truck, a smile on his face that makes Buck’s stomach go a little funny, and he can hear Christopher’s voice drifting out of the open door. He’s still talking as Eddie rounds the truck to the backseat and helps him out, grabbing his backpack and lunch box and handing Chris his crutches. The story wraps up just as they reach the front door, and Chris turns his attention towards their visitor.

“Buck!” he shouts, dropping his crutches in favor of wrapping himself around Buck’s legs. Buck scoops him up and spins him around, Chris’ giggles floating through the air. “I didn’t know you were coming over!”

“Yeah, we weren’t expecting to find a stray at our porch when we got home today,” Eddie says with a laugh.

Buck laughs too and shrugs. “Well I have the day off tomorrow, figured tonight would be a good night to eat our weight in takeout and watch superhero movies.” His eyes snap to Eddie’s, suddenly, inexplicably worried that maybe this was _not_ the move. “I mean, if I’m not intruding.”

Eddie shakes his head, smile still warm. “You’re never intruding, Buck. We’re glad you’re here.” He unlocks the door and they pile inside, Chris describing everything he did at school for Buck as he gets his homework set up at the kitchen table. 

They fall into a routine, one Buck hadn’t even realized they’d established. Eddie moves around the kitchen, putting away dishes, wiping down counters, getting Chris’ lunch together for tomorrow so he doesn’t have to worry about it later. Buck sits at the table next to Chris as he works, handing him notebooks and folders as he needs them. They both try and help where they can — Eddie with history, Buck with English, and a valiant tag team effort with math. 

Later, when they’re piled on the couch, full of Chinese food and watching Thor and Hulk try to escape Sakaar, Buck’s overwhelmed (not for the first time) by how _settled_ he feels at the Diaz house. He’d been drifting for years, from apartment to apartment as leases ran out and rent went up, trying to find some place that felt like a home he didn’t really remember having, not since Maddie left. He thought he found it with Abby, but that warmth quickly evaporated when she left him too, the emptiness filling back in the longer she was away. Even his apartment now, as nice as it is, feels too big and too quiet sometimes.

But here, with Eddie and Chris, he feels unbelievably content. There’s laughter and chatter and a liveliness he hasn’t had outside the firehouse, and it’s _good_. He _feels_ good here, like he’s accepted, like he’s part of something, like he’s _wanted_.

There’s still that annoying doubt, though, creeping in the back of his mind, reminding him that none of this is actually _his_. He might love Eddie and Chris more than most people, but he’s still just a visitor, allowed in for brief moments before he’s sent back to his own house with his own thoughts and not much else.

Not that Eddie’s ever said that. He always insists that Buck is welcome and never intruding, even on days like today, when the quiet is so loud it physically drives him out in search of warmth and comfort and _these two_ , prompting him to show up on the Diaz porch like a lost puppy and pray that they let him in.

They always let him in. They always _will_ let him in. But still. Buck knows he has to leave eventually.

Chris is snoring by the time the credits role, sprawled across both of their laps in his sleep. Eddie carries him to his room as Buck cleans up their dinner, throwing out trash and stacking leftovers in the fridge. It’s about this time, when it’s dark and things are winding down, that Buck feels like he’s overstaying his welcome and taking advantage. There’s usually one more beer or one more non-kid movie, but Buck always feels like he needs to rush through it, get it done and leave so Eddie can have space in his own house, even though all he wants to do is stay and be in that space too.

He hears Eddie coming back down the hallways as he closes the fridge, moving slowly in a subconscious effort to stay a little bit longer. Eddie stops in the doorway to the kitchen, eyes darting around to anywhere but Buck. He’s fidgeting with something in his hand and breathing in an artificially even way that Buck _knows_ means something is up.

Oh. He’s nervous. Eddie’s _nervous_. What the hell could he be nervous about?

When he finally catches Eddie’s eye, he can practically see the determination settle on his face. He walks into the kitchen, straight at Buck, stopping right in front of him. He takes a deep breath as he grabs Buck’s hand, opens it flat, and places— 

“A key?”

Eddie nods. “So you’re not stuck waiting in the grass anymore.”

Buck closes his fingers around the cool, jagged metal, his mind going a mile a minute. It’s too much and exactly what he wants and not enough and what does it _mean_ , does it mean _something_? Is it a declaration of something or just for convenience, did he force Eddie to do this since he never leaves? Is this good, is this bad, is this _anything_?

He knows he’s quiet for too long because Eddie starts fidgeting again. “You don’t have to use it,” he says quickly. “I mean, I just figured since you’re here all the time anyway and if you ever beat us home again and want to come in or something, you can. But you don’t _have_ to, not if you don’t want to—”

“I always want to,” Buck says just as quickly, and they both stop and stare at each other for a beat. He’s not sure if that statement ends with _be here_ or _be with you_ or _be a part of this_ or all three, but the small, pleased smile he gets from Eddie lets him know that he understands no matter what.

“Good,” Eddie says. “I— _We_ , Chris and me, always want you to...too.” 

Buck smiles and Eddie nods again and that’s that. There’s one more beer and one more movie and for once, Buck lets himself linger.

When he finally gets up to go, he reaches into his pocket for his phone and feels the key again. It sends another jolt of doubt through him, convincing him that as soon as he leaves with it, Eddie’s going to realize he made a mistake and ask for it back. He turns and stops on the front step before Eddie shuts the door.

“Seriously though,” he says as casually as he can. Eddie freezes, the porch light making him glow so beautifully Buck almost loses his words. “Let me know if I start overusing this thing. I don’t want to break any house guest etiquette rules.”

Eddie scrunches his eyebrows, utterly (adorably) confused. “You’re not a guest, Buck. You’re family. And you’re _always_ welcome.” He says it so easily, like it’s a fundamental, unshakable truth, and that’s all it takes for the doubts to get shoved away again. It’s the simplicity that finally lets Buck believe that he’s found a place for himself.

So he uses the key, and he doesn’t feel like he’s overstepping.

He gets to the house before Eddie and Chris, and he doesn’t feel like he’s intruding.

He tells Maddie, “This is Eddie’s house, I’m not really a guest,” and he knows that it’s the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell about these boys on [tumblr](https://tylerhunklin.tumblr.com/) with me!


End file.
